If you had lived in Japan for some time, you know how it feels when some Japanese people told you that your Japanese is really good.

Personally, the phrase “日本語が上手ですね (Your Japanese is so good!)” sounds so generic to me, to the point where it feels like they are taught to say it together with the other greeting phrases such as “Good Morning” and “Good Afternoon”.

There were times where it made me angry, also, there were times where I felt sad.

When I think about the reason why they use that phrase, the first thing that came to my mind was, “Are they making fun of me?”. Although that might be true, I refused to accept that as the reason for every case.

So, why do they say it? Let’s think about the situation below.

Wouldn’t you be shocked if some foreigners talk to you using your mother tongue? You might think it’s normal if your mother tongue is English. But what if your mother tongue is exclusive to your country, like Japanese?

I guess that’s what most Japanese people feel when they are in the same situation. To them, it’s normal that foreigners can’t speak Japanese as it’s only widely used in Japan. So, whenever they found out that a foreigner can speak in Japanese, they were so amazed and couldn’t help but to give a nice compliment.

Later, one of my Japanese friends told me that there’s another reason why they praise foreigners whenever they speak in Japanese.

They feel happy that someone (not Japanese) is willing to learn their language and is trying to use it in conversations too. So it’s not just a compliment, but a compliment filled with their happiness and supports.

The moment I heard it, I felt bad for having the thought that they are making fun of me. At the same time, I felt encouraged to work hard and keep improving my Japanese.

After finding out such special reason, it made me wonder if there’s any other behind the scene explanation for the phrase.

Following the same thought process, for someone who just started learning a new language, it’s normal for he/she to be shy and not having enough confidence to speak using that language in public. Don’t you think the action of pulling up his/her sock and try to communicate in Japanese is worthy of praise despite all of that?

I don’t think that Japanese people should just stop using the phrase “日本語が上手ですね”. On the other hand, I don’t think that foreigner should stop feeling sad or annoyed whenever they heard it. I just hope that a more natural and pleasant conversation between Japanese people and foreigners can be achieved after understanding the reasoning behind what each other says.